How to Create an Insanely Profitable Ultra-Processed Food Corporation

Nutrition pt. III: Why our kids are overfed and undernourished.

Step 1: Remove the Fiber

We have to make our food shippable, shelf-stable, and freezer-friendly. So first thing’s first, let’s get rid of all the fiber. Fiber is our enemy.

Why? Because fiber spoils our ability to store food for months, even years on the shelves. It holds water. It makes food mushy when frozen. Worst of all? It makes customers feel full. And that’s terrible for business…

Strip away the fiber and your customer’s hunger stays wide open. This means more bites, more boxes, and more money for us.

Step 2: Add Sugar to Make It Addictive

Now that you’ve stripped the fiber, you need a replacement. Enter: cheap, concentrated sugars, and let’s extract the sugar from government-subsidized crops like corn. This way other people’s tax money will pay for our cheaper materials. Profit-margins rise!

Our food will be sweet, addictive, and metabolically disastrous - a perfect combination for profits. And don’t worry - your customers won’t even notice. They’ll be too busy reaching for a second serving… and a third.

In fact, let’s extract all the fat out of the food and replace it with sugar. More addictive, less filling, and our marketing department will be able to put that “Low Fat” food label on our packaging. Which is a win-win and speaking of labels….

Step 3: Stick on more “Healthy Sounding” labels.

In addition to our “Low fat” label, let’s slap on some phrases like:

“Made with Whole Grains!”
“Fortified with Vitamins!”
“Heart Healthy!”

Even if 95% of our product is nothing more than synthetic sludge and man-made fake food, people will want to believe it’s good for them.

Add in a sprinkle of lab-grown fiber like inulin or cellulose and you’re golden. This fake fiber will add texture and we can legally make the fiber health claim.

Never mind that it behaves nothing like the real fiber found in whole plants. Never mind that it doesn’t slow digestion or support gut health for our customers.

Milk is the perfect example.

The dairy industry convinced America that milk is essential for strong bones… even though its calcium is not as bioavailable as many whole plants nor does dairy naturally contain vitamin D.

But thanks to relentless lobbying, the dairy industry got its own food group. They went so far as to create federal regulations that require public schools to offer milk and prohibit replacing it with water. And get this, chocolate milk has about as much sugar as soda. As early as five years old, we’ll get them hooked.

We’re not selling nutrition. We’re selling perception and beliefs.

Step 4: Shift the Blame

Here’s where the real gaslighting begins.

When people start gaining weight, getting sick, or feeling exhausted, let’s remind them:

“Hey, it’s all about moderation.”
“You just need to exercise more.”
“Eat our snacks responsibly.”

This strategy turns our biological hijacking into a moral failing on behalf of our food-addicted customers.

They’ll blame themselves, not the food. They’ll feel guilty for not having enough “willpower,” and that guilt will lead to comfort eating - all while our brand walks away clean.

Step 5: Collude with Science, Influence Policy, and Profit from the Cure

Now that you’ve sold the disease, it’s time to sell the cure.

• Fund a few studies with pre-set conclusions to downplay the risks of our products.

• Buy stock in weight-loss drugs.

• Donate to health foundations for good PR and some corporate tax-breaks.

• Partner with regulators.

• Sponsor an anti-obesity campaign.

Congratulations: you now profit from both ends of the sickness cycle, now make sure our food product gets into the SNAP program so everyone, regardless of income, can enjoy our tasty, cheap, and convenient food-like substance.

If this sounds evil, it’s because it is. But it’s also legal, normalized, and insanely profitable. That’s why everyone, including and especially our students, need to understand that ultra-processed food isn’t food. It’s a business model.

Now, for some nuance here. No transnational food corporation is trying to hurt people on purpose. In fact, all they want to do is make food products that we’ll want to buy. Based on the food products they’ve created for us and what 67% of an American teenager’s diet is made of, the food we want…

…is cheap, tasty, and convenient to make.

They’re giving us what they think we want. Could there be a time where these food corporations actually created something healthy for all of us?

Maybe.

But, as of this writing, all ultra-processed food is guilty until proven innocent.

Lastly, to insult to injury, eating more healthy heroes (whole foods) has some cons compared to these convenience foods:

• It spoils faster,

• Takes more time and skill to prepare meals,

• And some health heroes cost more.

But with those as the only real tradeoffs and the fact that eating whole plants only has positive side-effects to our health - do you think it’s worth it?

If you liked that here is part II below: